"You can resole your boots but you cant resoul yourself, so be careful where your walk is taking you."- Emily Elizabeth
I was sitting looking at these boots- upset that I had to get the heels and soles replaced. They weren't that old, how could they be that damaged? Then I got to thinking, put that same thought into my life. Yeah, high school was rough- but that comes with the territory. I looked at just the last 4 years of my life and quite frankly I am surprised that I am still around; and not that I am just around, but so in love with the Lord and so full of joy.
I know what it is like to feel as though everything inside of you has shattered and screaming in silent pain. Pain that no one should ever have to feel. Pain that can not be fixed with bandaids or chocolate or hugs. Pain that even time can't heal. Pain that creeps back up onto you long after you think its been healed and rears its ugly head just trying to drag you into the pits of Hell. Pain that is caused by Satan himself. Pain that can only be healed by the Lord.
I really had to sit (broken boots in hand) and thank the Lord that He had stuck with me and guarded my heart and soul from being broken completely. He didn't treat me like I did my boots- He had seen when I needed him to help me out and picked me up to carry me. He didn't wait for me to break before He mended the cracks.
Isn't the Lord is so good!?! I've even got a farming example for you that the Lord totally used as a teaching moment for me a couple weeks ago. I think you'll love it.
It was my very first day planting. Dad had gone through EVERYTHING with me. Basically gave me a step by step run through of what I should and should not do; things I should always double check and things I SHOULD NEVER do. Number one thing to never do- Back up with the planter still on the ground. He told me why I should never do this- the discs will get clogged up and the seeds wont get planted. He even told me what to look for that might mean that I had backed up without realizing it but could catch it- the planter would start leaving weird marks and ruts in the dirt, like it was dragging.
I listened intently for over an hour and totally thought that I had it down, I was going to be a bean planting pro in no time. Easy peasy, right? Nope. Not at all. I got about half way done with the field and started noticing problems. But I could have sworn I hadn't done anything wrong, I checked all the obvious things when my seed sensors started freaking out. Nothing looked wrong, so I kept going- hoping the problems would work themselves out.
Well guess what, the problems SO DID NOT work themselves out, the ruts just got bigger and the seed monitors kept getting angrier. So I finally had to stop and call Dad for help and oh boy, did I have a mess on my hands. Did you know that it takes less than 6 inches of rolling back on the planter to clog the discs? and if you keep driving the discs just get even more clogged. By the time I asked for help, My discs went from being brand new and perfectly aligned with no space in between them to being about 4 inches apart and clogged all the way through. It took me 4 hours to clean them out. I gained lots of knowledge and a few new scars on my hands.
So the next day I was really careful to not back up AT ALL. I did good too. But on day 3 I got a little sloppy and did it once because I was in a hurry- took an hour to fix because I caught it early. Then I did it again literally as soon as I got back in the tractor from fixing the first one because I was angry. That one took another hour and left a really nasty scar on my finger.
As I was finishing my field in the dark that night, I really got to thinking and realized that God had just taught me a pretty awesome lesson. No matter how many times we mess up, He will help us fix them. He will do everything He can to teach us everything we need to know so that we wont make mistakes, and He will even tell us what will happen if we do make mistakes (aka Sinning). But He gives us the knowledge of His grace to know that we can repent from our sins and He wil still love us and teach us even more about His Word and such.
Sometimes all it takes is one big mess up on our part to learn what we have done wrong, but even after we have done it once and repented- sometimes out of our rush to fit into the world, we do it again- we may catch ourselves, but we still messed up and have some clean up to do. We may do our absolute best not to sin, but when we dont take time to slow down and listen to what He has taught us- we will mess up.
So slow down! You know whats right and whats wrong. You know because the Lord has taught you, not only has He given you the Bible to teach you, but He has also shown you and told you in your prayers. Hes given you step by step guidance. All you have to do is stop and think about it for a little while, pull the knowledge to the forefront of your mind- don't push it to the back as you do with useless information. WWJD?
Farming and Jesus just go so well together :-) Ain't it grand!